Melissa:  Kind gentleman! I seek your wisdom. What on this vast, expansive planet possesses both contagious and classy qualities?
Me:  ‘Tis I! And my companion rhinovirus, which hast taken great affection to me.

Me:  M’LADY, through thine postings on facebook, I see thou hast treasure to offer? Verily, I seekest a dining table of sufficient quality.
Melissa:  Ah, a respectable quest! God speed! I resteth on a fine couch and sippeth wine in a far away land.
Me:  Truly, m’lady, thine life is a wonder.